In our culture of FOMO it’s easy to dismiss permanency as a rut. As Americans, our attitude is to be always exploring, always moving on to something “new”, as if new is always better, and the promise of “the future” is more valuable than living in the present.
- I’ve been married for 31 years.
- I’ve lived in the same house for 23 years.
- I’ve had a membership to the same gym since I was 16 (I’m 54 as I write this).
- I’ve had some of the same business clients for over 20 years.
- I’ve gone to the same church for 18 years.
Yesterday I was reminded once again the value of time and consistency in creating and holding “influence”. Working out at my gym, I ran into a guy I first encountered several years ago. We met when I was coaching my kids as they played sports in high school. Yesterday I was killing myself on the rowing machine. I noticed him watching me. I noticed that he looked unhealthy; he had put on considerable weight, and wasn’t moving well around the gym. As I suited up to leave the gym he approached me.
“You’re tearing up that rowing machine!”
“Only 15 seconds at a time”, I told him.
“I’ve been eyeing that thing for a week”, he said, “I’m trying to figure out how to get started.”
That began a coaching session where I helped him set up a plan for the rower, and also begin working on his diet. He confessed to me that since the COVID-19 pandemic had set in, he had become content to stay at home, read books, and eat junk.
This is a relationship that started more than five years ago.
Because I showed up consistently at my gym and made incremental progress over time, I showed I could be trusted for advice.
These encounters happen more often than you might imagine.
Because we’ve been married 31 years, young couples ask us for marriage advice.
Because I’ve been in business more than 20 years, new business owners ask me how to start and run their companies.
Because we’ve been in the same neighborhood for 23 years, my neighbors feel free to share their lives with us.
Because I’ve been in the same Christian community so long, people ask for prayers and counseling.
Influence is now a paid commodity in our time. Unfortunately, what is considered “influence” is the ability to sell products on social media. It’s often wielded by the young, the inexperienced, the beautiful. To “followers”, the most important component of influence is “authenticity”. But real authenticity is built by living consistent values over time. Like anything else in life, there are no overnight successes. You have to put in the time, hone your craft, and live your life honestly and humbly in front of those you’ve planted yourselves with.
Plant yourself. Put in the time. Be consistent. Become someone of influence.