I’ve just returned from my 2nd annual “Life Plan” retreat (If you want to know about Life Planning, check out this post). Rather than try to run through all the highlights in one post, I plan on breaking it down into a couple.
One of the first things I needed to do on my retreat was review the current status of some of my “accounts” (the big relationships / values in my life). I compared where I was last year to where I felt I was this year, and used my “Short-Term Goals / Specific Commitments” for last year as a guide.
Prominently displayed on the first sheet of my Life Plan from 2019 was:
Stay off social media; it’s eating too much time and fostering anxiety
What I did not have in my “Short-Term Goals” was a detailed plan. And although I feel like I made progress in this area, the bottom-line was the same. I know I waste too much time on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. And I know that I feel tremendous anxiety when I do.
High Anxiety
Plenty of recent studies have tied the use of social media platforms to anxiety and depression in teens and young adults. Let me share with you some of the reasons social media gets my britches in a bunch:
- Many of the “friends” I have on social media don’t have the same beliefs or values that I do. Often when I open a news feed I’m faced with someone’s strongly held position that completely disagrees with mine.
- Related to this, I consider myself “well informed” on important topics. I don’t just read the headlines, and I don’t just read “mainstream media”. I read scientific papers. I listen to a wide-range of authorities. I read across many different specialties and across the ages. I’m sure the other side feels the same way, but often the opinions I see expressed in social media have absolutely no basis in science or reality. I understand that a person’s closely held beliefs are their reality, but to other more well-informed people, this is actually fantasy. Can you feel my frustration?
- I try to measure up. It’s hard not to compare myself to others in my life stage when I see the image they project on the socials. Am I where I need to be? Why don’t I have a new house/car/boat/vacation like my friends have? Why isn’t my business as seemingly successful? It’s disturbing to admit this, but it is what it is.
Digital Minimalism
I already knew this would be a concentration area for this year, so I brought along “Digital Minimalism” by Cal Newport. I tore through half the book in two days. I’ll do a deeper dive in a separate review, but after hearing several podcast interviews with Cal, I knew this was what I needed. The stages, briefly, are:
- A Digital Declutter. Remove new technologies, apps, sites, etc. from your computer, phone or TV. You have to decide which technologies are optional, and which ones are absolutely necessary, and prune them.
- Take a 30 day break from “optional” technologies. Not as a mere detox (which is what I’ve done half-a-dozen times), but as a time of reflection to decide what you really value in your life. During this time, you have to fill the vacuum left by the time you used to fill with technology with activities that align with your values and interests.
- After a ruthless review, add back the technologies you must have, but with “operating procedures” that guide your new and future use. For instance, if you decide to add back Facebook because you message your mom there, you may decide to only add Facebook Messenger (not the app) to your phone, and only message your mom once a week on Saturday.
By the end of this week (I’m writing this on May 13) I should have my “absolutes” outlined and my optional apps removed. I also plan on having my wife change my Facebook password, since it’s one of my most-used platforms, and it’s one I access on both phone and computer. (I already moved it off my phone, but it’s too easy to access on computer!)
Digital Minimalism is not Digital Detox
A little more about “digital detox” vs. “digital minimalism”. I have tried detox. I’ve taken lots of weekend or month-long “social media sabbaths”. I’ve tried silencing notifications, and moving apps off my home screen. I’ve even bought a separate phone that holds my social media accounts so that I can leave that phone at home during work hours.
Detox is not enough. Without a strict policy about what, why, when and how you use technology, you’ll get sucked back into Pandora’s box when you lift the lid again.
I’ll let you know how this goes. In the mean time, how are you doing with technology? What boundaries have you put in place, and have they actually helped you regain control of your relationships and productivity? Chime in, below.